dream blog

I am sleeping, and from my bedroom I can hear my sister talking, sounding angry. She’s yelling at my cousin Debra. I get up, still sleepy, and emerge from my room. I hear the name Howard Hughes. (though in my mind I’m picturing Donald Trump) Barbara is berating my cousin for having tried to get a job from him. I realized my sister was dating Donald Trump! I didn’t feel upset that she’d apparently left her husband, Bruce, though I wondered about Donald Trump having left his latest model/trophy wife for my sister. I asked what was going on. My sister refused to tell me, and then my mom popped up, looking very pleased. “There will be an announcement at the dinner!” I knew this meant she was marrying him. I felt pleased. I was kind of thinking maybe he’d get me a job…

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I was back in high school. Linda is there too. Both of us are adults, yet neither of us had ever completed high school, and we want our diplomas. I hate it here, I thought. The teacher told us our next project was to take 10 photographs of someone and what their career was, and to get them all matted and ready by the next day! I turned to Linda.

“Can I photograph you & Rachel?”

Linda shrugged. “I don’t think I’m available. Why don’t you call Rachel?”

I quickly dialed Rachel’s number. I asked her if she’d pose as a film maker, and we could pretend she was filming a documentary!

“Uh…in one day? I don’t really have time. But you want to go to a party with Otis and me?”

I said sure, thinking maybe I’d just use some old photos I’d taken for the project.

Part II- at the party

Rachel was dressed as a little girl, in a white party dress, and a bonnet, and white shoes. She was acting as a part of some game, and said:

“I like lollipops!” She giggled, and began tap dancing like Shirley Temple.

Everyone clapped. Then a black woman passed us, with her little dog. The dog jumped up at us and growled, and the woman said “Stop that you little nigger!”

As she passed, Rachel giggled again, and when she saw a black guy she yelled

“Hey you nigger!” in a playful tone. She really didn’t mean anything bad by it, she was just a child, I thought. But I had to shut her up. I dragged her along, and she kept yelling to various people “Hey nigger!”

I hoped no one would get mad.

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Rachel and I were in school- it was a writing class. Something was weird about the class- the teacher used some sort of ESP to communicate with us, and I just didn’t understand what we were supposed to do, but Rachel did. I stopped by her desk and asked her for help- she refused. It looked like instead of writing she was building some sort of volcano, out of plaster. I was panicky, how would I do any work?

I realized we were in a mall now. Some Asian guy grabbed me and told me I had to participate in a survey. He gave me a questionnaire, and it was all about political stuff. He was announcing that a fur coat would be awarded to the person who won the prize drawing. I did not want a fur coat, and I noticed many of the women were wearing fur coats. I slipped away.

Then I was in the parking lot, searching for my car. It was filled with hundreds of cars, and I couldn’t remember where I’d parked it. As I was wandering about, searching, I saw my boss, and his family. He lumbered towards me, sipping on a giant McDonalds soda.

“Where were you today? You didn’t come in to work!”

I suddenly realized he was right, I’d just skipped work, and hadn’t called to let him know. I mumbled something about having forgotten. He angrily threatened me, and I searched around for a place to run and hide. I ran off, hiding behind a car. I knew I was probably fired. I felt some relief.

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I am in the bathroom, ready for a shower. Suddenly I look down- my legs are covered in thick hair- did I forget to shave for so long?? I touch it, and it comes off easily, and I realize that some powder is on my legs- and I realize that someone had left out some kind of chemical that removed hair, and it’d gotten on my legs. I continued to brush at the hair, and it fell out easily. I was disgusted by the hair, but pleased with how quickly it fell out. I did keep thinking uneasily how maybe this chemical caused Cancer or something. But I was ready for our trip to Italy!

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I am an attractive woman in her mid 20′s. I am using an online dating website, and I have 7 different men who I decided to meet. For each of them, I go on a date or 2 and then drop them- except for the last guy. He isn’t my usual type- he’s kind of husky, and not that smart, but a real gentleman.  I am working at a university as an administrative assistant, and he works there too.

One day I go in to work and there’ s some kind of assembly, where we get to watch a movie. I notice that every one of the guys I dated and then dropped are in the audience. I notice one of them resembles Brad Pitt. I realize that all of them keep turning around and staring at me, as if trying to flirt. I realized that it’s a trick, and the ring leader is this woman who I work with, a snotty professor. She is hoping I’ll break up with the guy I chose, and try to get back with one of the rejected guys, and that that guy will dump me. I have caught on, so I ignore each of the 6 guys, as they turn around and wink or smile at me. I quickly get out of my seat and walk off.

Then I am in school- that snotty professor is my teacher. She’s an art teacher, I think. As she comes over to give me a handout I start talking to another student, and she says “Just don’t bother greeting me.” I giggle, and ignore her.Then she comes back and says “Here’s a diet coke, I know you like them.” I am surprised, and pleased. I look down at it- it’s not diet coke at all- it’s in a clear bottle, and the liquid is white. I take a sip- it’s horrible! I look at the name on the bottle- “Chloric Acid”. Whatever that is, I’m sure it’s not good! I don’t drink it.

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I was visiting mom and dad. My sister was there too. It seemed as if this was a few years ago- partly of course because mom was still alive. Mom said we were going to some book fair. I didn’t want to go. I said “I bet its hours away, and I have a 12 hour flight tomorrow!”

Mom said “That’s what we’re doing.”

I got angry. I began to yell “I’m not doing it, you can’t make me!”

I felt I was being childish and mean, but I couldn’t help myself. I continued to rant on about it, repeating that I had a 12 hour flight, and how tired I was. Finally the subject was dropped. Suddenly we were at the book fair.

Then I was on the airplane. It was a huge plane, and there were tables where people could sit and eat. I was scared- I felt it would be a bumpy flight. Suddenly the plane slowed down, and the door opened- and some new passengers walked in. I wondered how they did it- did the other plane fly right next to this plane, and was there a bridge going across?

I noticed who the passengers were- my ex husband Mark, and his new wife Cindy, and the people from their wedding party. I felt uncomfortable but I went over to say hi- Cindy ignored me. I talked to some random person, asking about how the transfer was made. She just said “We were on a tiny airplane.”

I went back to my seat. This was not going to be a good flight.

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I lived in the mansion. It overlooked a lake, and in the back a beautiful, large lawn. It seems like a museum, I thought. I would stare out the window at the people walking on the lawn, and playing games. There was a man who lived next door who I really liked- he looked like a movie star, and rode a horse. I knew he would never be with me- he was married, and he knew the affair would never work.

So I went to school. I was in class, but it was in a cafeteria. Everyone was talking about their projects, how they were taking advantage by asking for presents, to do with their projects. They kept showing me little toys, and postcards. I said to a friend “I will tell them my project is about Easter Island, and that I need to go there. I bet they’ll pay for airfare.” She seemed a little doubtful, but went along with me to the office. I said to the counselor “I need to go to Easter Island. With my special powers, I will find out from the gods there what happened in the past, to create this.” He seemed very impressed, and said I could go.

I was on an airplane, with my friend. She was a pretty young girl with an afro. We saw this group of kids from school- two cheerleaders, and a handsome guy. As soon as they saw us they began to mock us, and I couldn’t understand it- I thought they were our friends. We went to sit down. Then suddenly we saw the 2 cheerleaders attacking the guy- with a knife! They came over, gleefully. “We were just pretending to like him!” exclaimed the pretty blond cheerleader. Her friend agreed. Now we were 4 friends, on a trip together. I felt content. Then I noticed the other cheerleader was made of paper- and I tried to fold her up and put her away.

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I was 19. I had been drunk before, but nothing like this. I’d drunk about half a bottle of vodka. Arthur, (my first real crush- who turned out to be very gay) and Liz (my friend from art school) and I had gone to see the Thompson Twins in concert at the beach. Liz and Arthur were arguing about who would get to cut my hair. The next thing I recall, they were prodding me and pushing me towards the back door- apparently it was 6am, and my dad had just left for work. They thought we should leave before my mom woke up. We stumbled down the block in the early morning sun, Arthur and I arguing about a little plastic doll that could swim. I threw it at him and it broke. We were walking to the train station- planning on taking the LIRR into NYC, back to Liz & my apartment in the city. I was giggling and talking about my weird neighbors. Liz and Arthur kept shushing me. Then I burst out  with “That’s the fat people’s house! They’re the fattest family!” Liz tried to drag me away from the house, which had a big chain link fence. The dog was growling at us, and then straight out barking and pawing at the fence. Undeterred, I screeched “They eat their dogs- they seem to have a new dog every few months! So they must eat them!” By this point some of the neighbors were opening their doors either to hear what was going on, or leaving for work. I am pretty sure the door to the fat family’s house opened too. I feel bad, now, of course. (But they really were all grotesquely obese people. )

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I walked home from school, and immediately headed for my room- I was at that age when I sulked a lot, and wore all black. I was going to do my usual thing, close my door and listen to my newest records. I was standing in front of my full length mirror, examining my hair, when I saw my mom reflected behind me in the mirror. Startled, I turned around.

“What is it?” I asked, surprised that she was being so silent.

“I’m in trouble- I have to go to Germany!”  She said this dramatically, as if she was being watched. She glanced behind her.

“What do you mean? What’s wrong?”

“Leroy is threatening me- he wants to borrow money. He’s scaring me.”

“But- why does that mean you have to go to Germany?”

“He’s been following me in his car. And he keeps calling, saying threatening things.”

I never had trusted him. She had met him at the spa, and gave him the Amway talk. (“Do you want to have your own business, and make more money than you ever had?”, etc.) He didn’t buy any Amway products, but they became fast friends. He had a cadillac, once he asked if I wanted a ride. I made an excuse not to go. I felt like he was creepy.

He had no real job- but said he did “business” and wouldn’t say what. He flaunted his car, and his nice suits.  I didn’t know what his story was, but I wished she wouldn’t be so friendly with him.  So now it was as I had thought- I had been right all along. Mom wouldn’t give me details- just that she had to leave, and that I should not tell dad. Not tell dad??? Was she having an affair with Leroy?

All I can recall now is that she did go to Germany, and that she did tell my dad, thank god. Then she returned and all was fine, and she was friends with Leroy again! My dad wasn’t too happy about that. But I think in reality the whole thing was just blown out of proportion, and that he hadn’t been a real threat.

She eventually quit Amway, and most of her weird Amway acquaintances drifted off. But we still had boxes of unsold Amway products in our basement as a reminder.

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Diana was interviewing the serial killer. They were in a cabin in the woods.

“I’d like to know why you feel you need to kill. Tell me what you think when you’re planning it.”

His eyes were piercing.  He glanced at Christopher, then back at Diana. “It’s a compulsion.” He stood, and walked across the wood floor to Christopher and in a hearty voice said “Why don’t I show you my land? Come outside.” Christopher nervously agreed, and they exited.

They stood outside- the trees were moving in the wind, and there was a chill. Snow frosted the ground. Christopher stared at the landscape, feeling the wish to escape. He could see movement in the distance- what was that? Gray shapes, moving rapidly- some kind of animals?  He blurted out “What the hell is that?”

“Those are my wolves. Fine specimens, aren’t they?” By now the wolves had reached them, and were pacing, surrounding them. There were over a dozen of them, and Christopher could see their razor sharp teeth, bright white in the moonlit night. He had to get out of here. Suddenly the wolves were gone. He sighed with relief. Then there were dogs! All of them growling, coming closer. In an instant one had jumped him- as he struggled to push it off, he could feel teeth sinking into his ankle. Sharp pain- and crazed fear. He desperately tried to removed the dog, but it clung to his leg, refusing to withdraw his teeth. Christopher dragged his leg, and the dog back to the cabin. There were a bunch of women in there- long haired, dressed as hippies. They all smiled, and some had flowers in their hair. One looked at him with concern. “That dog looks vicious. And you’re bitten! Try some tangerine juice for that.”

Tangerine juice…maybe it would help?

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